Fury/Klitschko: Boxing becomes real Sports Entertainment

You may be wondering why a wrestling blog has taken a moment to comment on boxing. Well, Sports Entertainment could be described as fictitious characters performing physical excursions to fulfil predetermined results. In this regard, Saturday’s World Heavyweight Championship boxing match is pure “Sports Entertainment.”

Just like in the world of WWE, everyone knows how the result should go unless there’s a mistake. And this doesn’t matter, we’ll be watching for the spectacle. Tyson Fury has played his part well. Unable to bring equal boxing ability to the ring, he’s been an excellent entertainer. Whether he is aware of the sideshow he’s become is debatable. He probably thinks the entire would is laughing with him.

But he is playing a part: The role of a fictitious boxer. In his 24 bouts there has been no evidence to suggest he is worthy of being a world champion. When compared to upcoming talents like Anthony Joshua, it’s clear his performance in the role, which he has fully embraced like a method actor, is the main reason he fights for gold on Saturday night.

In Wladimir Klitschko we have the giant from the Eastern Bloc, but in the politically correct world of today, rather than play the stereotypical Cold War villain, he plays the soft-spoken good guy. The brains to Fury’s village idiot act.

Tyson deserves credit for making the public ponder the possibility that an upset could occur. He’s out jabbed Wlad with words all week in the run-up to the fight. Minds will be cast back to Klitschko’s two defeats, when he was knockout by Corrie Sanders and Lamon Brewster.

This is the same narrative contenders use every time they face Wladimir and threaten a repeat. But the last of those KOs was over 11 years ago. What makes Fury’s hope less probable is the belief he lacks a powerful punch.

Cliché Alert! But in the heavyweight division anyone can land a knockout. The wrong punch at the right time will end a fight. Klitschko has reinvented himself since the last defeat and has become as defensive as Mayweather, highly unlikely to make a mistake.

Mistakes do occur though. We also know the Klitschko DNA drops away fast when age sets in. His brother, Vitali, was the better boxer. But when age caught up with him it happened all at once. Against Dereck Chisora he flattered the British boxer, making him appear more credible than he is, and laboured through to a points victory.

Wladimir could well face such a moment in a fight anytime soon. Tyson Fury proved against Chisora he can be patient and manage a fight correctly when he cares to concentrate. What if he tears up the script and lands an accidental knockout punch?

It would make a sport struggling for credibility fall further apart. Klitschko needs a big win to validate his title reign – which should get more recognition than it currently enjoys – and to prove that Tyson Fury is a level or two below the top prize fighters.

 

That video was just meant as a fun dig at Tyson, it was made at the start of 2014 before his planned July bout with Dereck Chisora. Its creation shows how little regard there is for Fury. Nobody would dream of such a jibe at Klitschko’s expense or would have started a humorous campaign against Lennox Lewis when he was still active in the ring.

It’s possible with Fury because no one takes his boxing ability seriously and when he’s parading around dressed as Batman it’s hard to give the man much consideration. I see the hypocrisy, as I’m sat typing with facemask and lion headwear, but I’m not claiming to be the man that will knockout Wladimir Klitschko.

For the sake of the sport he needs to finish the night lay on the canvas. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that was flirting with the idea of hoping he wins. It’s the same part that cheered on Sid Justice against Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania VIII, or how I secretly hope the Joker gets one over on Batman (and was chuffed when he killed Robin) or smiled when Germany thumped Brazil 7-1 in their own World Cup.

My head says it will be a Klitschko win. My heart hopes it is. The part of me that enjoys a bit of anarchy and turmoil hopes it’s Fury.

In a boxing world where everyone’s more concerned with their legacy than the contest, it’s refreshing to see Tyson Fury’s attitude. In his own words: He’s a fighting man. Regardless of the result on Saturday, his outlook will remain the same.

Why I’m Cancelling the WWE Network . . . for now.

After this week’s Monday Night Raw I made the decision to cancel the WWE Network. I can usually put my trust in the company with storylines. In the past the road they’ve been on has been shaky but I’ve stuck it out, often with scant reward. But recent events culminated in an ideology I can’t be a party to. WWE doesn’t seem to care about Raw’s pathetic weekly ratings so the only place to make a stand is by removing my payment of 9.99.

The bone of my contention is the deformation of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. We all get that John Cena is the company’s main guy. I acknowledge without any gripes that this has been his year. He’s given the US Title credibility and in the process put over performers such as Cesaro and Kevin Owens. This should have existed while the main title looked strong and its champ – the supreme Seth Rollins – was given legitimacy. Never the twain shall meet.

But they did meet. There could have been other ways to get the belt back to Cena, beforehand they could have afforded Rollins one clean win over Super Cena. Now it is unclear the benefit of the whole Cena/Rollins program. Cena certainly doesn’t need a boost. It’s etched in the fans’ minds that he is the man that runs the place. All it’s done has made the World Champ looking like he’s only good enough to be top of the mid-card.

This is diabolical. Rollins on the mic has no equal right now, and in-ring he’s shown signs he could be not just the greatest of this generation but of all time. His reward for this is a match against Kane going into Hell in a Cell with a belt that’s now worthless.

This poor writing from WWE Creative – the best example of an oxymoron ever – will be masked by the interest in the PPV. Thanks to Undertaker and Brock Lesnar being on duty it’ll appear to be a successful event. In reality it will paper over the cracks.

This is the future of WWE: Poorly managed talent and badly written stories. But as long as the t-shirt sales stay up, kids are buying toys, and the Network bounces around 1.2m subscribers, Vince won’t make a change. Until then I won’t be sending him my ten British pounds each month.

Okay, I’ll probably crack before then. Maybe. Definitely Maybe.

Rollins needs the Rub

Heading into Night of Champions there’s one thing that has been universally agreed upon: Seth Rollins has been poorly booked during his run as WWE World Heavyweight Champion. There have been too many occasions The Authority’s chosen one has lost matches or been made to look weak. At tonight’s PPV the man with two belts deserves – and needs – to get put over.

Another thing that has also been repeatedly expressed is how good Rollins is, as both a performer, and on the mic. It’s part of playing the heel, to look slippery and win by any means possible. Dirty finishes are common place for villains. What’s become unacceptable is the number of times Rollins has been made to absorb an unnecessary loss. That’s what mid-card talent is for. If say, for example, Sting needs a win on Monday Night Raw, let him get that tap-out to someone lower down the card or a bit-part player like Big Show. Don’t make the champ take the hit.

It isn’t quite at the levels The Miz endured when he was champion. That reign did nothing other than damage his top tier card beyond repair. Rollins is too talented in-ring to allow this to happen. When creative have allowed him to shine he’s flourished. The match against John Cena for the US Title demonstrated he can look strong and be a heel. That match deserved a clean finish for the former Shield member.

Tonight it’s inevitable he’ll drop at least one of the belts. Many people in the run-up to the PPV have had their say on which superstar should leave with which title. Most have stated that Sheamus is probably cashing in tonight. There’s a chance that WWE Creative will swerve that angle now because it’s too obvious.

My personal feeling is that Rollins should be compensated by Creative for months of carrying the brand and getting scant reward. Okay, two belts is some reward, but his reputation is taking a hit. To cement his in-ring talent as legitimate they should allow him a clean victory over Cena. These two had great chemistry last time out and it would make sense in keeping with the story. Super Cena has been pushed to his limits and found a new level, it can be said afterward that this made the champion do the same. It’s a rub for both men.

If Rollins keeps the US Title then it stands to reason he’ll drop the main gold. This could be WWE’s thank you payment to Sting. He finally joined WWE to lose at his debut Wrestlemania to Triple H, who, while a strong talent over the years, is no Undertaker. To give him the last world strap he’s never had brings closure on a glittering career. If this does occur the commentary team can play up the war Rollins had been in with Cena and that Sting benefited from a fatigued defending champ.

What WWE cannot do is give anyone a clean win over Rollins, making him appear cowardly or throw him a cheap win. He should be made to look strong and when he loses he deserves to go out on his shield.

Divas Division Deserves an Attitude Era

Okay I know women were part of the original Attitude Era, but they weren’t at the forefront, the driving force. The current phase of the Divas’ evolution sees a genuine contrast of styles and characters vying for recognition as the division’s best. I’ve said before, the reason current WWE programming seems tepid is down to a lack of competition. The Monday Night Wars were so enthralling because WWE and WCW pushed the standards higher and higher. The main roster has no rival now. This isn’t true for the Divas.

The Divas Division has utilised the different branding (main roster and NXT) and created a mini-war of their own. With it the women have seemingly been given greater creative freedom – just like Vince McMahon afforded his chosen stars back when WCW took the upper-hand. It’s no coincidence that Triple H – the King of chosen Kings – is the force behind NXT. It has its own voice and continues to make its own stamp.

What we’re seeing now is an Invasion of sorts. Unlike the disappointing WCW Invasion angle that presented the outsiders as inferior, this one has inverted the rules. The NXT crew appear more dominant, better equipped. It’d have been a hard sell to do it any other way. Anyone watching the WWE Network will know women’s matches there have a higher degree of technical application and last for more than three minutes. They actually wrestle – and dare I say it – sometimes it’s better than their male counterparts.

Within this micro Monday Night War the NXT edgier attitude has seeped through. Suddenly it’s not all so vanilla. Paige – the division’s outstanding performer – has slotted in perfectly. She was never going to be the next Bella twin. This future Hall of Famer was always going to redefine the term “Diva” for a new generation. It helps this transition that she now has wrestlers that can complement her ability on the show.

Sasha Banks and Charlotte have unique styles and personalities but contrasting personas are vital ingredients for the Diva Revolution – their Attitude Era – to work. Not to mention some recognised star power. WCW and WWE were flooded with big names, having the daughter of Ric Flair in the mix doesn’t harm things (Wooo!). In an Attitude Era pretty much anything goes but everyone needs to be different. Current WWE is too safe, too manufactured, too plastic. The new Divas are anything but.

The current roster has to step up to the challenge or face extinction. They must have been worried for some time, watching excellent NXT shows and wondering if they could cope with such energetic brutality. To be fair, so far they have taken the bull by the horns and added to the excitement. Brie Bella looks convincing grappling with the NXT additions. This is a testament to the desire to evolve and adapt the exiting ladies have.

Obviously the Divas Revolution can’t be a true Attitude Era. The WWE world is too PG for that. But it can alter the current tone. The happy music, cheery skips, and matches that look like two girls getting choreography wrong, can be scrapped. In NXT when a submission move gets locked in (like the Bank Statement) it’s hard not to wince. Attitude is one part that the fresh characters are bringing along with the damage their bodies are now absorbing.

Like an era there has to be an end goal. For the Attitude Era it was securing the win during the Monday Night Wars. For the Divas it will be ensuring that their division never returns to being an afterthought or the segment of a PPV where everyone takes a toilet break. As Charlotte said recently, she wants to headline WrestleMania. That sounds far-flung now but Ronda Rousey now headlines the male sport of MMA. Why can’t a Divas Championship one day close the greatest show on Earth?

There is no reason. If the women involved continue to make the strides forward at the pace they currently are the paying public will demand more Diva matches higher up the card.

Viva la Revolution.

They were Right to Bring The Undertaker Back

 

The title above is half a sentence. It should read: They were right to bring The Undertaker back but they’ve told the wrong story.

WWE needs a boost, there’s no doubt about this. Weekly ratings are continually low, which I fear will continue to be the case whilst WWE Creative flounder through Raw episodes three hours in length, and the winter season is always a lull before the road to WrestleMania kicks off via the Royal Rumble. An injection of the Phenom ensures there’s less of a plateau.

The episode of Raw that saw a massive in-ring brawl continue to the backstage area was one of the best moments the Monday night show has produced since the Attitude Era. That’s no exaggeration. It had believable tension and brutality. It felt like something was unfolding naturally. We were witnessing an incident. Unfortunately the script to accompany the action isn’t as strong.

The Undertaker needed to return as a heel. Don’t boo me, it makes sense. He’d already received the massive pop – as a returning legend is always guaranteed – when he turned up at Battleground. After which WWE should have placed the product over sentiment. He’s played the bad guy before, he could again. Brock Lesnar is – or was, depending how this story plays out – over with the fans. More over than anyone could have ever reasonably expected. Current planning ruins this.

The blocks were in place for a heel Undertaker appearance. It’s more believable he was getting revenge for his brother’s (kayfabe) broken ankle than some annoyance regarding Heyman’s eighteen month bragathon.  To whine about Brock boasting now makes him appear weak. It also damages the growing powers of Bray Wyatt having The Undertaker declare this is his real return.

The chances are The Deadman will get his revenge at SummerSlam, if anything it gives WWE the option for a third and final showdown further down the line (WrestleMania perhaps, if Sting never shows up in a WWE ring again?). And this probability adds further weight to an evil Undertaker plan. To beat Lesnar he had to go to dark places, tap into a side he’d long since abandoned. It makes for a more plausible story.

It’s only the appearance of a more viscous side that will make Brock’s disappearance post-SummerSlam more believable. Only bad guys cause long-term injury in the WWE. Heel tactics also mean less wrestling, and witnessing the way the Tombstone Piledrivers were delivered at Battleground (awkward and cumbersome) leads me to believe the less in-ring action the better for the Man in Black.

The WWE could do with the ‘Taker ratings boost right now, it just needs the right sort of ‘Taker to maximise the potential of the Beast Incarnate.




Clive Balls's memoir Balls To You is available here from the Amazon store.

Teachings from Tokyo

The WWE Network aired its first live performance from Tokyo, Japan. Labelled after Brock Lesnar, the jewel in the crown, it taught us nothing new about the Beast Incarnate. It did reveal that WWE is aware of sensitivities surrounding the way it delivers stories and conclusions. Here we learnt a lot about the WWE and its self-awareness.

As some of you will know from my autobiography Balls To You, I’m no stranger to wrestling. My father competed in Germany but his career was sadly cut short before he had the opportunity to travel further afield. I was did get to visit Japan with my band. Whilst there I was fortunate enough to see some wrestling events. I’m confident in the coming days much will be made of the Japanese crowd from this Saturday. It didn’t surprise me.

Just like their in-ring action, the Japanese audience is a constant conveyor belt of excitement and flow. Consider the westerners that have won them over in the past – like Chris Jericho – observe the style they used to do it, and you’ll get an idea of how high octane means something different there. They also buy more into action as opposed to soap opera finishes.

We now know WWE were aware of this and didn’t dare “cheat” the intelligent fans. It would have been easier for WWE creative to throw a few dodgy finishes in. They like to do it so much on TV because it can get the result they desire while keeping both competitors looking strong. In reality it just makes us at home groan and invalidates any result. In Tokyo they took their balls out of their mother’s purse and went for clean outcomes all show.

First up was the aforementioned Jericho against Neville. This was always going to be a clean match. It was also one of the hardest to call. We’ve witnessed Y2J pass the torch so many times (bet he ponders that Fandango one now) that it seemed probable he was here to put Neville over. But in what would set the marker for the rest of the night, WWE acknowledged Japanese support for the talent on show. Jericho cut his teeth as the Lionheart and the fan base in Tokyo got the win they wanted. It was a classic of a match, finished off with the LionTamer, minutes earlier Neville was subjected to what I reckon is the most painful Walls of Jericho ever seen.

The Divas followed and, not to be flippant, what I learnt here is that I’ve lost my faith in the division. It was actually a decent match but the characters, barring Paige, are flat. And there is no story. It’s time to introduce the NXT Divas to liven the division up.

The title and presumed spectacle of the show entered in the middle of it to face the formidable opponent of Kofi Kingston. That was said with a slight hint of sarcasm. Still, this match did reveal that WWE would avoid any interference. The New Day members allowed the match to play fair – all four minutes of it. Kofi barely passed through Suplex City before the F5 ended his day. After the match his pals did arrive before also finding the mat the hard way. Fast as it was, it’s always a privilege to see Lesnar.

Next was match of the night, in terms of anticipation and delivery, for the NXT Championship. Finn Balor faced current champ Kevin Owens. Now, what did we learn? First off you need to ask: what do you think needed to happen? Kevin Owens has outgrown NXT, he already is part of the main roster. So there needed to be a way to drop the belt and remain looking strong. Another problem with this is Balor himself is ready for promotion to Raw.

It was the fight where WWE Creative most needed a get out of jail free card. But Tokyo rules meant no such luck. They had to revert to traditional action with an undisputed result. Owens mocking Cena’s move set gives a new narrative, that he was no longer focused on the NXT Championship. That the inevitable moment Balor took the 1-2-3 Owens was already moving onto his next “proper” match. It doesn’t entirely work for me. Cena should surely beat a man put away by Balor? But that doesn’t take away from how good this match was.

This review could end here really. We learnt – or saw – nothing new from the tepid main event that was King Barrett and Kane vs John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. There was no Kevin Owens appearance to hurt Cena. Again, WWE played it clean. The result was predictable. You know which Goldenboy got the pin. He paraded around afterward with the man that should have been main eventing by now. Instead Ziggler stands in purgatory. At this point his career hangs by a thread. Unfulfilled in WWE and too big to wander elsewhere. This is why WWE needs a major rival.

WWE Tokyo showed us the writers do understand fan frustration with questionable finishes and when required they can put on a great, clean show. Good matches are always better with endings that don’t leave the fans feeling robbed. Let’s hope we see more WWE on-the-road events via the network.

Balls To You

Taking a quick side road away from WWE for a minute to announce the release of my autobiography "Balls To You." It still bears some relevance here as it charts my time in Germany. This was when Dad started as a stage technician for a wrestling tour before becoming a performer himself. It feels a little obtuse to point out that he never won a strap while wearing the tights but to this day I can proclaim to be a World Heavyweight Hardcore Champion.

Not to lead you astray, the book only briefly flirts with the sports entertainment theme, but its influence has no doubt shaped the act that became my band, Esoteric Impulse Project. It's a pretty crude tale at times, full of sex, drugs and something trying to pass itself off as Rock 'n' Roll.

Read with caution and an open mind. It's just jokes, people.

It's available now in the Amazon Kindle store as an e-book.

(Universal Link: Clive Balls - "Balls to You")

WWE Extreme Fools

The fools I refer to in this instance are, of course, WWE Creative. They managed to save a Wrestlemania Main Event, where the world was braced for the crowning of Roman Reigns, by giving us a good contest and a Seth Rollins cash-in. It played out perfectly and left viewers with a great sense of occasion.

Only WWE Creative has the ability to quickly undo all their good work. The slippery slope started at Extreme Rules. In a quick defence, it has to be acknowledged such a concept is hard to pull off in the PG era, but there are ways to get around it while providing plausible entertainment. To keep the theme relevant the envelope has to be pushed or shocks delivered.

There’s certainly no room for a “Kiss Me Arse” match. I’d argue this stipulation never needs to find its way to any card, let alone one that is supposed to be Extreme. But it’s what we got. To make matters worse they handed the victory to Ziggler and immediately halted Sheamus’s intimidating return. Already we know he’s not unstoppable.

The Russian Chain Match should have been renamed: Cena’s Continuing Chain of Wins over Rusev Match. WWE Creative has worked hard at removing all the fear surrounding the Bulgarian Brute. An extreme setting allows for an upset. Instead the action was very PG, the result very predictable. Thankfully we could look forward to an end of the rivalry. Oh wait, WWE wanted to drag it out to drive home how Super Cena had the number of Mother Russia.

You know a PPV is failing when Big Show takes plaudits for match of the night. That’s what happened at Extreme Rules as the always excellent Seth Rollins and the Viper couldn’t save a convoluted main event.

Payback offered WWE Creative the chance to do just this: pay us back for dropping the ball. Instead they further compounded certain problems and made new ones. They restarted the campaign to bury Damien Sandow. The Macho Man act was more than cringe. It was disrespectful to the legend that was and the man made to play “Macho Mandow.” Aaron Steven Haddad, the man who plays Damien Sandow, must have been caught with his pants down and in the wrong person’s wife. It could be argued Creative are playing to his comedic strengths and re-establishing The Ascension. But there were better ways to achieve these two aims.

Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler did provide us with a good match with a finish that would have better suited Extreme Rules. The two Brits, King Wade Bad News Barrett and (Adrian) Neville, had the weakest of their recent bouts but it was a great match regardless. It shows how good the two performers are. They have a good chemistry and fill the blanks in one another. A perfect balance. Like how Barrett has several forenames and Neville would be happy to be given just one. However, they shouldn’t be fighting one another, and so often, it devalues the winning streak and prowess of two wrestlers deserving of pushes.

Before you say Barrett has just been made King, the less we say about the revived tournament the better. King of the Ring deserves to be one night and less rushed. Much like Elimination Chamber which we’ll get to in a minute.

In the “I Quit” match Cena passed out and Rusev never actually said the words in English. But Super Cena got the rub and following episodes of Raw have tried their best to undermine Rusev. To make things worse Lana has now teamed with Ziggler. Dolph must be happy that after years of always delivering he’s back to the upper-mid card as an arm for a female object of attention.

Payback’s main event did deliver. We saw original Shield do the Triple Power Bomb. Creative avoided a finish that saw Ambrose take the pin for Seth. And the extra characters, J&J and Kane, added rather than took away from the action. A sign of hope moving to the chamber that all is not lost.

As for the Elimination Chamber, the card itself looks very healthy. What is worrying is how this great event (the structure always provides top matches) was removed on grounds of cost and modern arenas unable to lower and raise the chamber. Yet, out of the blue, it was reinstated. Not even the wrestlers knew until the eleventh hour. I understand plans have to be fluid, always ready for change. But this isn’t a tweak, more a complete change in programme. And the lack of time between PPVs has harmed the effective build-up. WWE Network figures, and the constant chase of them, shouldn’t give rise to knee-jerk reactions.

Still, this aside, as I mentioned, it is a good list of matches they’ve produced. New Day is over in a way Creative couldn’t have dared dream of when their original gimmick was failing so badly. The prospect of a Tag Team Chamber match is more than mouth watering. I suspect it will steal the show and could be a spectacle spoken about for years to come. Hats off to each performer too. They haven’t had months to work out the spots and the dynamic. It’s just a bunch of hungry guys throwing it all on the line.

Another hungry guy is Kevin Owens. He has been the man in NXT and gives Cena a credible opponent (after the more than credible Rusev). The fact he holds NXT gold means if (when) he loses to Cena at the Network exclusive PPV he won’t go down clean. It’ll be a beating for Cena afterwards. A painful one that could kayfabe injury him.

The Intercontinental match has a strong field. The money seems to be on Sheamus. This is logical. I expect a Ziggler/Rusev programme to start following this Sunday’s match, Barrett has the King moniker to carry around, Ryback is still suffering from the strange choice to pit him against the ever-at-loose-end Bray Wyatt, and R-Truth is just fun-filler.

The weaker matches are the Divas triple-threat match. The only threat regarding this championship is that the main roster looks weak compared to the female matches witnessed on NXT. This isn’t because the main roster has worse Divas, just weaker bookings. Neville and Bo Dallas has all the hallmarks of a clean win for Neville. It’s about time Dallas joined his real-life brother in the Wyatt Family.

The main event will provide a great wrestling match. Rollins and Ambrose always deliver when in the squared circle together. The questions are around the support cast. Will Reigns accidently cost Ambrose? How will The Authority intervene? It’s highly likely (like, 99.9%) that Rollins will keep the gold all the way to SummerSlam, a bout with a Beast awaits him there, but with the abilities on display in Elimination Chamber’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship match mean a few twists can still be delivered.

Let’s hope they make us smile and not groan.

Nothing New to Ce

WWE have managed to do the opposite of killing two birds with one stone, the old adage of eliminating problems, and reintroduced a bunch of old ones and lost the tools to fix them. Dolph Ziggler’s stand-out, coming-of-age, Survivor Series performance, the debut of the legendary Sting, and the removal of The Authority was all for nothing. The stipulation that only John Cena could bring them back had numerous angles that could have been played over time. Instead we didn’t get anything fresh. This is ironic because Cena himself has been stale for a long time. WWE should have killed two birds with one stone – they should have turned Cena heel.

The Superman Cena gimmick has run its course. Sure, kids still chant “Let’s go Cena!” and this shifts enough merchandise for WWE decision makers to ignore the “Cena sucks!” retorts. Undoubtedly there was good reason to squeeze every last bit of life from this set-up. But it’s done now. Not even the staunchest of Cena fans can really be looking forward to his next bout with Lesnar. Cena keeps getting these gigs because they clearly don’t trust any other stars to play the main babyface of the company. It’s time they took a leap of faith on one.

They can’t take a full leap while Cena is still the super powered hero that kids love to cheer. The Daniel Bryan Yes Movement had the potential to offer a healthy alternative, and may do again now he’s back from injury. Even a successful emergence from another star doesn’t address the main problem: Cena’s act is tired. Hulkamania had run its course after a pioneering period in the 80s. Our wrestling heroes eventually become the ones we’ve seen enough of. Hulk Hogan realised this and requested he became the third member of the nWo. The rest is history.

Hogan protected the Hulkamania gimmick by donning black and becoming Hollywood Hulk Hogan. The same could have been done with Cena. He could have stepped away from “Loyalty, Hustle, Respect” and freshened up his act. The best heels are the ones that are mighty and powerful, without the need for cheating. The nWo walked over everyone. They were dominant. Cena could have played that type of heel. Super Cena would be exciting again. Those booing adults would start to cheer.

The story to turn him would have been simple and believable enough. We know from Total Divas that he’s dating Nikki Bella, the heel female wrestler. He could have said he’d had enough of the woman he loves taking the brunt of hatred from the WWE Universe. That the place had become lawless since The Authority had been removed, that it was time to bring back some order. As a bonus you’d have a Shield 2.0 with Rollins and Cena, add another of your choice. You could even throw in a turned Hogan to endorse the new Cena’s mindset. It’d generate heat like we’ve never seen before. Cena would be relevant again.

Overtime the new Cena could slowly edge back toward face by way of the anti-hero angle. Those booing adults that were now cheering would see him as this generation’s Stone Cold Steve Austin. His eventual turn against The Authority would rehabilitate his character, one that’d never have to be so worn out ever again.

There’s some sense of perfect symmetry to this. Cena is often cited as the PG generation’s Hulk Hogan, it’d be good to see his gimmick give a nod to the man that replaced Hogan at the top of the mountain, Steve Austin. Instead we get more of the same. WWE retreading the same old paths, John Cena becoming more antiquated with every moment of TV time. A great opportunity lost.